Hello Reading friend, this month I have heard about impostor syndrome more times than one, so I am convinced that I need to share.
How many times have you applied for a job and not been lucky to be called for an interview? How has this affected you in your future job searches?
How often have you been lucky to be interviewed, asked to sell yourself then suddenly you are tongue tied and can’t say anything or you say less about yourself? Then you get out, remember what you needed to say but couldn’t say in the moment?
A couple of years ago when I joined G4G, I learned the power of not only selling yourself through stories but leading afraid. However, over time I have learned that no matter how much this is ingrained in our minds; there will always be moments when the confidence and belief in our own capabilities eludes us.
At an event I attended recently, a group of people in attendance were asked to share one adjective that defines them, or they believed their friends would define them by. While everyone had wonderful things to say about themselves, at the end of their self-definition and affirmation they would add a sweeping comment that screamed that they were unsure if what they said was true.
In the process, one lady observed that there was a level of impostor syndrome creeping through and this could possibly be attributable to self-doubt and sometimes identity issues. The unfortunate feeling of “I don’t belong” or “I am not sure about myself”.
This reminded me of a sweet friend of mine who was excited at the possibility of new beginnings after successfully going through the initial stages of a recruitment process and at the final stage when she was asked by a “white fierce big man” to sell herself, she either got tongue tied or undersold herself.
Worse still, when she was asked a critical question on Work life balance, she found herself accepting what she knew deep within was not what she wanted. Why was that? The question was asked in such a way that her acceptance was critical to get the role & yes as you can imagine in this economy, she wanted the role, so she offered a faint “yes”. The interviewer, however, must have read through her and realized that the “yes” wasn’t entirely authentic.
See, when we apply for jobs, we aim to put our best foot forward, over promise but also sometimes the desperation for change or the opportunity to get in makes us forget our capabilities, what we stand for and what exactly we are looking for. We sometimes seek to settle for the next available opportunity and then the superpower that knows you more than you know yourself re-directs us so that we can go back to the drawing board; do a self-assessment and have a clear understanding of what it is that we want.
Today, in this abounding month of August I don’t know what you are seeking out but like I reminded my friend and myself, let’s re-define ourselves by believing in our abilities and appreciating our worthiness. When we sell ourselves in the most authentic way, we are not being frauds. We belong and are deserving of the wonderful opportunities we are seeking out. Let’s go back to the drawing board and in the same way we count our blessings and miracles one by one, let us re-define ourselves in the most authentic way one step at a time so that the next time we have the opportunity to sell ourselves we do it well and honorably because it is the truth.
Remember every little win, every skill acquired and every wonderful virtue that forms part of your fibre and story counts. Don’t be afraid to put it out there. Be like my friend and I, let us practice for the next opportunity both in the mirror and practically.
Cheers to authenticity and a weeding of the impostor out of our lives. Let’s jump onto the next abounding opportunity with authenticity, confidence & self-belief.
Hope & Faith,
F.I.R.M