Marriage and the Mud

Hello Friend, welcome back to my blog! You know in 2020 when I started sharing my thoughts openly it never occurred to me that I would eventually enroll into a course that would get me sharing my thoughts as part of the requirements to successfully complete it.

Well, I did and now you will probably be reading more from me; sometimes the things I write about will be connected and other times they will be as random as they can possibly get.

So, today I am writing about marriage and the mud. You all must be wondering what the relation between these two is but give me a minute. See, this has been the month of love. Throughout this February I know most of you saw memes doing rounds on social media about who had a valentine, who did not, who received flowers, who did not, who received gifts in form of cars and of course we also had those of people who were seemingly lonely especially as the 14th of February drew nearer.

It doesn’t matter whether you are married or unmarried; somehow if you are relating or are being pursued you look forward to that day & as it is the hope usually is that this chase will end into a “happily ever after” that we all call Marriage.

Now, if you are married you know that in the marriage that is where all the life actually happens. Mud, Mucid, Mend, Mold name it. I know many a couple that have done the NDOA Marriage program and have read the manual that is offered. In that manual there is a story of people jumping over a fence and every time someone jumps they fall in mud and instead of telling their colleague not to jump because of the mud they instead encourage the other person to also jump. The author of that manual relates that jumping and falling into the mud to getting married.

You must be wondering where I am going with this. I also have no idea because my thought process got lost somewhere but I will move on to speak to the married person reading this. Does the idea of Valentine’s Day still excite you? Do you feel like you have fallen in the mud? If you feel like you have fallen in the mud what are you doing about it? Have you taken time to get yourself out of the mud and mold something beautiful out of the mud or mend what you have so far built?

What’s the mud?

There are different definitions of what mud is -water soaked with soil (clay) or soft, sticky matter resulting from the mixing of earth and water. Remember the creation story? God formed man out of dust (mud) from the ground and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life-emphasis mine. I hope by now we all know that Man is the mud and out of him was made a helper; the woman. To the man, among his many duties to his wife was to hold fast onto the wife and breathe the same life to her as God had breathed into him while for the wife it is to help the husband in his many roles without losing your individuality.

My understanding, correct me if I am wrong is that both man and woman are a little bit of water soaked with soil with a breath of air and the two come together for a greater purpose all for God’s glory. The two breath into each other this breath of air as they carry on their roles daily with the man holding fast onto his woman and the woman helping his man.

However when they get into this union, the mud becomes real mud; I am not as visual as my friend Coco is but I know she would have probably painted a messy mix of soil and water in a way that would leave you perturbed. All I am trying to say, is that mud mixed with mud is not pretty at all.

It’s not rare to hear stories of things falling apart shortly after mud has mixed with mud so I hope that this gets us thinking if we have already mixed or are in the process of mixing. For those in the process of mixing; you are in luck, you may not have to labor with answering these questions once you finally mix.

For those who have already mixed, the bigger question here is; do you only hold fast onto the wife on Valentine’s day or do you help the husband just a few days leading to Valentine’s day or do you live out every other day molding each other into the greatness you have each been put together for, clearing the mucid and mending the cracks in your relationship with love?

It is not enough to buy flowers on Valentine’s Day, go for dinners on only that day because everyone else is doing it. Tell the world how much you love each other just because you think that’s what is pleasing to the ear. Do it with purpose and honesty. That purpose should be to mend and build not just to put up a show. If you have fallen into the mud, then by all means make it count for something if you still see value in the person you have chosen to draw and live a beautiful life with. Make the mostly happily ever after a reality.

A real successful love story of commitment and resilience is a mix of work, lots of unspoken experiences and activation of the appropriate third party God. Remember that old hymn, great things happen when God mixes with man? When God mixes with mud made in his image and likeness; great things happen!

You are a great, beautiful and wonderful person in a great, beautiful and wonderful thing because God has already mixed with you.

Wishing you lots of love through the year, not just February. You deserve love and you are here to share that love with the people in your life especially your “Valentine”. Remember, Charity begins at home.

Have a firm love filled life and rest of 2022!

Hope & Faith,

F.I.R.M

The Compassionate and Introspective Lover!