How do we move beyond our perceived imperfections and struggles?

If you read my blog post on self-love or people’s perception, this is just a continuation. If you have not read it, please go ahead and look at it.

By now, you know that your perspective is your choice. You can either choose to believe what others perceive of you, or love yourself through the perfect “imperfections”. What you struggle with is in most cases not a struggle at all, it is something you choose to perceive as a struggle. Your failure to gain weight or lose weight or whatever it is you are struggling with is not supposed to be a struggle, it is not supposed to make you feel any less of the piece of perfection that you are.

You need to adjust your mindset and refer back to who your creator says you are. You are perfect. He created your innermost being in your mother’s womb even before your parents knew they had conceived you. You are a master piece. You are not a mistake and you are here for a purpose.

After reading that, you may ask; so what is my purpose? In my mind our purpose lies in all those experiences we have gone through in the past that have shaped how we now view ourselves today. It could be our family history, our childhood, or even our perceived struggle with something that we now desire to break free from. Anything that has shaped us to date forms part of our purpose.

If I can use myself as your case study:

I was raised by my paternal grandparents who loved me like I was their last born, my grandfather (bless his soul) affirmed me in ways nobody else has and; for a long time, my deepest fear was losing him. Immediately, after I graduated from the University I came face to face with my fear: my grandfather died! I thought my life had come to an end but God sustained me amidst the silent mental struggles I went through.

Fast forward, just when I thought my life was back on track, the whole world was struck by the covid-19 pandemic. During this rather odd time, I also suddenly lost my only child and first born daughter under unclear circumstances.  Ps: she didn’t have covid, just the timing of the tragic loss.

This meant that my small family of now two people had to go through a major loss literally all alone and grow through the season of adversity. In the aloneness and loneliness, my purpose became clearer.

With the passing of my Grandfather, all my insecurities came alive-I had been stripped off of my dignity. He was my dignity, he was our family dignity and the future was blurred for a while, thereafter; it was adversity after adversity until I had my precious daughter. My purpose was to love her selflessly and teach her everything I learnt from her great grandfather. This only happened for a very short time. She changed address back her to maker.

Prior to that, I had done a self-evaluation and after joining the G4G mentorship I committed to share my story so that as my daughter grows up she will know better than be limited by things beyond her control. I could have decided to shelf this now that she is not physically here with us but I know her spirit lives on and I must still share for the benefit of someone else out there.

What can you my dear reader do?

So, what is holding you back from pursuing what you desire or being the best version of yourself? Is it how people view you? Is it your past struggles that keep crowding your mind?

Whatever it is; I say, empty your mind of that limitation and let us together unleash the greatness within you. It resides in you. God created you to be great. You simply need to embrace that greatness within. It all starts with self-awareness and I have compiled a few more questions for you to go through in your free time as you go through your season of re-discovery and re-definition.

Self-Awareness Evaluation Questions:

• What do you like about yourself, however small or fleeting?
• What positive qualities do you possess?
• What have you achieved in your life so far, however small?
• What challenges have you faced in the past and how have they affected you?
• What gifts or talents do you have, however modest?
• What skills have you acquired?
• What do other people like or value in you?
• What qualities and actions do you value in others that you actually also share in?
• What aspects of yourself would you appreciate if they were aspects of another person?
• What small positives are you discounting?
• What are the bad things you perceive of yourself that you are not?
• How might another person who cares about you describe you?

Take your time to go through the above questions and answer them honestly. I will appreciate your feedback on how the self-evaluation goes and if you have any comments or questions, feel free to reach out on fabfamshop@gmail.com or leave a comment below.

Remember, stay safe, sanitize, wear your mask, keep showing up and stay F.I.R.M (Feisty. Ingenius. Resilient. Motivated)!

Blog by:

Fortunate Ingabire Rwalinda Mugarura (F.I.R.M)